On Criticism: Why Film Critics are F@#&!! D&!!@bags
Film Critics are ugly, sad little trolls who were never popular in school. Unable to cope with the realities of social interaction they retreated to the cinema, a dark place well suited to the social misfit, where everyone’s attention is focused on the giant rectangle of light instead of the sad little troll tucked away in a corner. Since they spend so much time there escaping from reality they become pretty familiar with the movies. They notice that regular people seem to like them too so in a desperate attempt to belong they foist their opinions about the pictures onto the world only to be met by more derision. Because, as we all know, knowing too much about something makes you a prick. And there’s no sadder prick than the film critic because they are so unnecessary. Anyone, even a kid, can watch a movie and know if they liked it or not. So what good are they?
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